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For the love of music

Growing up, it didn’t matter how long or short the car ride was… I was singing. My big brother would moan, “Mom! Make her stop!” 😂

Whether worship or a silly song, there was always a song in my mind and heart. As a kid, I’d sing in the shower, and if it was near a holiday I would sing every holiday song I knew before I’d get out of the shower (my family loved that 🙄). Even when going through trials, I would try to sing to embolden my heart to trust God.

The truth is, music has always been a part of who I was. Even my nickname was Hummingbird (obvs the hummingbird doesn’t sing, but I was a hummer).

Until my son passed away.

I recorded a song for his funeral the night after he passed by the grace of God alone, but after that… I couldn’t sing. Nothing would come. I couldn’t sing in church. I couldn’t sing by myself. I couldn’t sing when I was happy (because I wasn’t). I couldn’t sing when I was sad (which was constant).

Music left my heart, and I was in pain.

What changed

As I was getting counseling after my loss, I learned that the plethora of fears, anxious thoughts, and lies floating around in my head were affecting me in terrible ways. They couldn’t stay there. I had to fight them by the grace of God. But how?

I took what I’ve learned about fighting fear, anxiety, and lies from counseling and therapy over the years and created New Mercy Moms | the workshop – an indispensable tool for the Christian who knows suffering.

One of the ways to get truth into my mind to help me fight the fear, anxiety, and lies was through music. Singing again wasn’t even my goal (although eventually, it did come). I just needed truth any way I could get it.

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So I thought I would share some playlists and my thoughts on the songs I chose for them.

I know that music taste and choices are highly individualistic – and that’s totally okay. My main criteria for a song making it to the list was this → Does it share Bible truth about who God is and how he interacts with our pain?

There are so many great songs out there (please share yours below!), but here are some of my favorites that have buoyed my soul through the darkest storms.

Songs that understand pain and foster hope

I’ll Never Forsake You by David L. Ward

The words to this song are just incredible, plus my friend Terry Pettit who sings this song has gone through so many trials. To hear her sing these words has meant so much to me. She is an incredible example of faith in hard times.

Psalms (Live) by Shane and Shane

This whole album is songs based on the Psalms. Sometimes the music is sensory overload for me (my nerves feel kinda fried after the trauma of loss), but the words are just phenomenal. One of my favorites from this album is Psalm 46 - Lord Of Hosts because it reminds me of how he is with me in the hardest, scariest times.

Though You Slay Me by Shane and Shane

You guys… this song. This is my heart cry after loss. Not a natural response, but the one my spirit wants to have. My favorite version is this Youtube video with an excerpt from a John Piper sermon.

Living Hope by Phil Wickham

When all you feel is death all around, where do you turn? This song reminds me of the Living Hope that Jesus truly is for me. It reminds me of the victory he won over death and the grave. It doesn’t trivialize death or my pain, but it shows how much more glorious Jesus is to have victory over such darkness.

Hymn Of Heaven by Phil Wickham

Okay… you’ll find I have several songs from Phil. He is definitely one of our favorite artists at our house. After I lost my son, my heart longed to be with him in heaven and escape my pain here. But this song refines my longing for heaven to instead be with Jesus who will right all wrongs and reverse the curse of sin and death. I love this one.

Forever by Kari Jobe

Jesus’ resurrection has never meant more to me than after I lost my baby. I know it probably should, but that’s the truth. Now, I love songs that remind me of the darkness that was overcome and the glory of that victory. I don’t care if it’s not Easter, I’m singing about (or at least listening to) songs of Jesus’ resurrection! Because, boy oh boy, I need this to be true. If my heart doubts, then I need to rehearse this truth (in song and other ways) till I believe it.

He Will Hold Me Fast by Matt Merker

Have you felt like your faith might fail after miscarriage or infant loss? I did. I remember one moment in particular as we continued to get bad news about our baby. I wanted to despair. But the Holy Spirit reminded me that Jesus prays for me that my faith would not fail. Not faith in the doctors, but faith in Jesus - faith in God! This song reminds me of how Jesus holds me fast no matter what is going on the inside or outside of me.

Too Good by Jess Ray

Have you ever thought (like me) I can’t understand this or that about God and therefore have a hard time believing it? Well, Jess Ray has packed so many good things in this song to point our aching hearts to faith in our good God. If you’ve never heard it before, listen now, please.

Sovereign Over Us by Aaron Keyes

I heard this song first from a friend going through some deep trials, and then I heard it in church as like, “Oh yeah… this is good” as tears streamed down my face. If you ever need to rehearse the truth that God is sovereign, loving, and wise (shoutout to Trusting God by Jerry Bridges) then this song will be a help.

The Dark Before The Dawn by Andrew Peterson

My husband and I really like this song because while acknowledging the deep, deep darkness and pain of this life, it lifts our eyes up to the King who’s going to change all that.

The Sower’s Song by Andrew Peterson

If you know that God has a purpose for the pain, you don’t know what it is yet, but you desire for God to accomplish that purpose for his glory and your ultimate good then this song can help align your thoughts with Scripture truths.

Farther Along by Josh Gerrels

Describing the life of a Christian who goes through deep trials and temptations, this song encourages me to keep moving onward and looking upward. Even though I don’t understand the reason for all that has happened, by the grace of God I can keep moving forward.

Sing To Jesus by Fernando Ortega

This precious song reminds me that because of what Jesus did on the cross, I can still sing in my pain and heartache. It’s so beautiful.

A Christian’s Daily Prayer by Bob Kauflin

I love how this song walks through the day and gives it over to the sovereign hand of God. It focuses on who God is and how he interacts with us - which if you’ve been a reader of New Mercy Moms for a bit then you know that’s what we love to focus on.

It’s Always Been You by Phil Wickham

You guys! I love this song! After loss, I tried to run from God but he kept bringing me back. And this song just reminds me that it was God the whole time. I mean, just read these lyrics: “Who stood with me in the fire? … Who pulled me out of the water?... Who carried me on their shoulders? It was You, it was always You.” And that’s just part of it. Listen to the song. Like, right now.

Where I’m Standing Now (feat. Brandon Lake) by Phil Wickham

If there’s been some time since you’ve lost and you’ve seen God sustain you and maybe even grow your hope and faith some, this song gives so much praise to the One who did it. When I first heard this song, I was having a very hard day. I was so discouraged and sad, but this song reminded me that God has done a work and he is still doing a work that is for his glory and my ultimate good.

Catch Me Singing by Sean Curran

When my baby passed, I was so so broken. Even though I struggle, this song reminds me that God will still finish the good work he started in me. It reminds me to trust him even when it’s hard. It’s full of words that I want to be true in my life and truths about God that I want to believe, so I sing them till my heart believes them.

No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus [feat. Davy Flowers] by Chandler Moore

After going through such deep trials, do I want to be remembered as someone who fell away or was held by Jesus through it all? This song came out when I was preparing for my rainbow baby. Even though I was still racked with fear and sadness about my loss, God was growing in me a desire to leave a faith-filled legacy. This song puts that into words.

Personal Ads

Bible based prayers for Bereaved parents

Miracle or Not [feat. Bethany Barnard] by Lou Fellingham

This song reminds me of the 3 Hebrew boys who were faced with a terribly difficult decision: bow down to Nebuchadnezzar’s statue or be thrown into a fiery furnace. And they said (my paraphrase), “Our God is able to deliver us from your hand, but if he chooses not to, we will still not bow down.” Glory! I need that faith! This song is so good though and really meets the mama who is suffering where she’s at. It’s for the mama who just got the news that her baby passed or has little to no chance of life outside the womb. It’s for the mama who’s baby is in the NICU or is living it’s last moments at home. It’s a mysteriously beautiful yet painful song, and I don’t know how Bethany sang it.

Eye of the Storm (feat. Gabe Real) by Fowler Christopher

This song was introduced to us by a friend who lost his adult daughter soon after he came to Christ. It was so terribly hard, and yet this song echoed his testimony. God carried him through. And while our friend is now in heaven, his legacy of Christ’s work in him through such deep pain lives on. I remember it every time I hear this song.

Full Playlist on Apple Music

Some Reflection

As I compiled this playlist, I couldn't help but reflect on my own journey through heartbreak and loss. Music, which had always been my solace and expression, left my heart when I was in deep pain. It felt like a part of my very soul had been silenced.

Music may have left, but Jesus hadn’t.

And then when I started to listen to music again, I strategically picked songs that reminded me of this truth.

Music became my lifeline when my eyes blurred from tears as I tried to read my Bible. I needed truth, but how to get it in?

With each carefully chosen song, I found snippets of Bible truth that resonated with my pain and showcased the hope and treasure Jesus is. Singing again wasn't my primary goal, but it eventually found its way back into my life, like a gentle gift from above.

As you explore these songs, I hope you'll find comfort and encouragement like I did. Even though our tastes in music may differ, the common thread weaves through every song – a message of God's unwavering love and compassion even in the midst of our deepest sorrows.

May these songs remind you that you are not alone on this journey. Together, we can acknowledge our brokenness yet find strength in the One who holds our shattered hearts with tender care.

If you have your own favorites, I'd love to hear them too! (So share below!)

Dear mama, thank you for reading, and may you find the resilience to carry on, the courage to face each day, and the assurance that there is a melody of grace and truth waiting to lift your heart, even in the darkest storms.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Kathy

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Resonating Resilience: Healing and Hope-Filled Music Playlist for the Broken-Hearted

For the love of music

What changed